Reggie’s Protection at the Super Bowl

23 02 2010

Posted Jan 27th 2010 3:30AM by TMZ Staff

The New Orleans Saints‘ luckiest charm — Kim Kardashian‘s booty — is gonna be the most protected back at the Super Bowl this year … because it’s set to be chauffeured around Miami in a veritable fortress on wheels.

TMZ has learned Reggie Bush‘s favorite asset will be hitting the town on Super Bowl weekend in a Vault XXL2 Limousine by Armor Horse — which is a tank/limo hybrid built with composite ballistic panels and bullet-resistant windows.

And that’s not all: Both doors on the limo are fitted with emergency gun ports.


Jay Leno Gets Lithium I-Cell Chrysler Crossfire

22 02 2010

It’s easy to be resentful of Jay Leno’s access to cutting-edge automotive crap. That guy’s been at the front of more lines than Rick James (RIP, brothah), at least when it comes to car stuff. This time, he got the first lithium I-Cell powered sports car, a Chrysler Crossfire fitted with new an EV system created by Hybrid Technologies. The retrofitted Chrysler roadster R-Car can hit 100 mph at a range of 100 miles to a charge. It’s the first of several EVs Hybrid Technologies is working on, including a PT Cruiser.

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Branson For Alternative Energy

19 02 2010

Richard Branson Warns of Impending Peak Oil CrisisRichard Branson has invested $400 million in alternative energy technology and says he’s moving his business empire away from petroleum wherever possible.

A group fronted by Virgin CEO Richard Branson released a report this week warning that peak oil is not only real, but closer on the horizon than many might think. The Industry Taskforce for Peak Oil and Energy Security warns that demand for oil could outstrip supply as soon as 2015, a turn of events that would send ripples through nearly every economy and industry in the world. “We must plan for a world in which oil prices are likely to be both higher and more volatile and where oil price shocks have the potential to destabilize economic, political and social activity,” wrote Branson in the forward to the report. “Don’t let the oil crunch catch us out in the way that the credit crunch did.”

The task force recommended swift action from government and business to accelerate the “green industrial revolution,” as well as the creation of actionable contingency plans should an oil crisis take place before a movement away from petroleum is complete. It warned that even if immediate steps are taken, there is a risk of serious shock to the food, transportation, heating and retail sectors. As one of the world’s leading travel providers, Branson’s Virgin Airlines would stand to be hit particularly hard in the event of such a crisis.

Branson is just the latest billionaire to warn of an impending oil crisis. Everyone with a television set, radio or Internet connection is by now familiar with legendary oilman T. Boone Pickens’ warnings on the subject. “The oil just isn’t there—no technology can change that,” Pickens told Mother Earth News in January. “And with China and India pushing up the global demand, new discoveries just can’t keep up with it.”

Both men are of course heavily invested in the transition to sustainable energy. Branson said last year that he plans to invest about $400 million in renewable energy technologies, while Pickens has invested upwards of $60 million on media promotion of his “Pickens Plan” alone. His total investment numbers in the hundreds of millions of dollars.

In a matter of few years, peak oil has grown from a marginalized theory to a serious point of debate within the mainstream energy investment and business communities. In 2007, the United States Government Accountability Office published a report recommending that “the Secretary of Energy [take] the lead, in coordination with other relevant agencies, to prioritize federal agency efforts and establish a strategy for addressing peak oil issues.” The report stated that most experts expect peak oil production “sometime between now and 2040.”

From Peak Oil to… Peak Demand?

Meanwhile, the government of Saudi Arabia is warning of the complete opposite of a peak oil crisis: so-called “peak demand.” Citing fears of reduced demand from the developing world—due to the global economic downturn—and an industrialized world that is increasingly trying to move away from petroleum, the Saudis say they’re trying to diversify their economy to be less reliant on oil. “The concern about peak oil is behind us,” said Khalid al-Falih, chief executive of the Saudi state oil firm Aramco, at the World Economic Forum in Davos last month.

Still, most energy experts see reduced demand in the developing world as a short term correction rather than a long term trend, and there is little evidence that the world is on pace to replace a significant portion of its petroleum use with alternative energies in the near future. Even at face value, the Saudi position is about as far from mainstream consensus as peak oil theory was 10 years ago.

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10 02 2010

“Toyota recalling 2.3 million cars because of two problems — unintended acceleration and possible brake problems. Things are not looking good for Toyota. In fact, today, two crash test dummies refused to get in the car.” –Jay Leno

The 7 Most Retarded Ways Celebs Try to Go Green (2008 article found)

4 02 2010

article image

With the threat of global warming looming, it’s more important than ever that all of us appear to care about the environment.

Maybe no one works harder on this than celebrities, who make it a point to show up in the papers every now and then with their latest eco-friendly gesture. We would applaud them for this, if it wasn’t for the fact that the gestures are often mind-blowingly retarded.

Paul McCartney Gets a Hybrid… Flown to Him by Private Jet

Earlier this year, Paul McCartney bought (or may have been given) a hybrid car from Lexus, after he had done some promotional work for them. See! This is what John Lennon was singing about, people.

So What’s the Problem?

The car was specially flown in from Japan, thus creating several hundred times more emissions than it would ever save. Reports differ as to whether or not McCartney bought the car and demanded it be flown to him, or if Lexus took it upon themselves to send it to him to make McCartney look like even more of a dick than he usually does.

In an interview, McCartney claimed to be horrified by the whole thing, but he couldn’t talk for long as he had to go protect animals from potential forest fires by chopping down the Amazon rain forest.

It Could Have Been Worse…

He could have left it in the plane, then just had the plane fly him around England while he sat behind the wheel making engine sounds.

Jennifer Aniston Brushes Her Teeth in the Shower

On the eve of Al Gore’s Live Earth gigs in July 2007, Jennifer Aniston said that because every two minutes of showering uses as much water as an African person has for an entire day, she restricts herself to a three minute shower (why fuck just one African’s day up?). Also, she pointed out that she brushes her teeth in the shower to save on water, and that she painted her house green so it could be powered by photosynthesis.

OK, we made the last one up.

So What’s the Problem?

For the moment we’ll forgive the fact that dentists say it takes two minutes to brush your teeth properly, leaving Jennifer only one minute in the shower to clean the rest of her body (though perhaps making it clearer why Brad Pitt left her).

The bigger problem is that two minutes of brushing in the shower uses about five gallons of water, where two minutes of modest faucet usage (even if you’re the type who leaves it running the whole time) only uses about two gallons. You don’t need a spreadsheet to tell you which one saves the most water. Also, we can say from personal experience that you can save way more water than either method by simply not showering at all.

It Could Have Been Worse…

She could have suggested just taking your toothpaste and brush to the car wash, then sticking your head out of the window as you go through.

Sheryl Crow Uses One Sheet of Toilet Paper Per Visit

Sheryl Crow took time out from her role as least offensive musician ever to tell people to use only one square of toilet paper back in April 2007. Crow had been touring, so we’ve got a feeling she came up with the “one square” idea after an incident on the tour bus that we never, ever want to hear about.

So What’s the Problem?

We don’t know about you, but there have definitely been times when one sheet of toilet paper just isn’t enough. And that’s every time.

“I’m clearly not familiar with standard pooping.”

Crow helpfully suggests that we can use two or three sheets for when that rare, exceptional shit calls for it. Now, without getting too graphic here, let’s just say that after a night out involving a case of beer and a heap of heavily-spiced Indian food, two or three sheets would be nothing more than a preliminary damage assessment.

Crow later tried to pretend she had meant it all as a joke, but this was probably after she realized everyone was sitting on the opposite side of the tour bus from her.

Look how uncomfortable Sheryl Crow’s butt makes John Mayer.

It Could Have Been Worse…

Crow could have taken her war against paper wastage to above anal levels and suggested making clothing with built-in napkins on the sleeves. Oh wait, she already did.

Woody Harrelson Has “Vegan” Clothes… Flown by Private Jet

Woody Harrelson was apparently a huge activist for environmental causes even before it became fashionable. He even boasts that he wears “vegan” clothes. We’re not sure what constitutes vegan clothes, but we like to imagine Woody leaving bacon and sausages by his closet overnight, then smiling approvingly when he finds them untouched in the morning.

So What’s the Problem?

Woody was attending the Cannes Film Festival this year and took part in a Charity Poker event with other celebrities like Salma Hayek and Tim Robbins, but once there he noticed he had forgotten his favorite vegan shoes and belt.

Woody’s favorite belt buckle.

At this point he did what any of us would have done, and had them flown in from California on a private jet.

Actually, upon further consideration, we wouldn’t have done that. We would have probably sat at the card table naked from the waist down and yelled “Poker? Damn near killed ‘er!” over and over again while staring Salma Hayek right in the eye and rhythmically thrusting our hips in her general direction.

We’re rarely, if ever, invited to poker nights.

It Could Have Been Worse…

He could have found a gravy stain on his favorite vegan shirt, and had it flown to California and back to be washed at a special vegan dry cleaner. Or even worse, he could have found out that it was chicken gravy and loudly accused the shirt of eating meat behind his back.

Coldplay Offsets Their Carbon Footprint Via Dead Trees

Celebrities have been getting around the whole “cut back on their lifestyle” thing by instead planting a shitload of trees somewhere in the world, arguing that the thousand or so trees they’ve planted (well, paid some charity to plant in some third-world farmer’s back yard) will completely neutralize their carbon footprint.

Coldplay’s Chris Martin, for instance, planted 10,000 mango trees in India to offset whatever emissions were made during the release of A Rush Of Blood To The Head, from their coal-fired guitars or whatever.

So What’s the Problem?

It just doesn’t work, according to environmental groups. Trees don’t lock in carbon for long enough to make a difference. It’s not a bad thing to plant trees, but it’s not a magical cure for image-conscious celebrities who want to hang onto their private jets.

“I’m a massive tool, all the time.”

And about those mango trees Martin had planted? Yeah, they’re pretty much all dead.

It Could Have Been Worse…

He could have had the trees flown there by private jet.

Harrison Ford Waxes His Chest Hair to Save the Rain Forest

Harrison Ford decided to wax his chest to raise awareness of over-logging in the Amazon rainforest, and to make men wince from California to Delhi. The waxing can be seen in this thirty second video that is the centerpiece of the “Lost there, felt here” deforestation campaign which, without looking it up, we believe involves selling human body hair to raise money for the rain forests.

So What’s the Problem?

If Harrison Ford turned up at our house, shirtless and with waxing strips stuck to his chest, and then pulled off the strips one by one with girlish shrieks of pain, we’d be unlikely to pay attention to a single word that was coming out of his mouth. It wouldn’t matter if he was trying to send a message about deforestation, or that he wanted to give us all of the money in his wallet. We’d be too busy shutting the door in his face, securely bolting it, and checking the rest of the doors and windows to make sure they were fastened securely.

What we’re saying is that there are better ways to tell the world about deforestation, Mr. Ford. Show us some pictures or something. Narrate a documentary. Just put your shirt back on.

It Could Have Been Worse…

At least it was his chest hair.

And just to make sure you’re imagining Harrison Ford ripping the hair off of his nuts.

Al Gore Holds Green Concerts, With Artists Flown by Private Jet

In 2007 Al Gore organized a series of large concerts with the idea of informing people about global warming, via the medium of spunky, sassy pop stars singing songs and every now and again sitting around smugly, telling the world how they’ve installed solar panels or how they power their houses with potatoes or some shit.

So What’s the Problem?

How about shifting 150 artists around the world, flying them a total of 222,623 miles (that’s not counting the technical staff) and pumping 31,500 ton of carbon emissions into the atmosphere for that day alone?

By comparison, the average American releases twenty tons. A year.

“Guys, check it out, I invented a car that runs on pandas.”

It Could Have Been Worse…

We suppose if a band could have somehow used a tour bus, several police cars, a private jet and a helicopter to make a single trip from one venue to another… no, wait, that actually happened.

The band Razorlight did it, then claimed they’d offset the damage by planting some trees later. Hey, it worked for Coldplay.

Read more of David’s stuff at The Gentleman’s Handbook.

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Electric Cars For Enlightened Stars

4 02 2010

Actors like George Clooney have made high-performance, zero-carbon vehicles a new fashion accessory

Photo: Top: Commuter Cars Corp.

Cool Cat

“Actor George Clooney, posing here with his Tango 600 all‑electric car, enjoys its fast pickup.

It’s been all the rage in the last couple of years for Hollywood celebrities to flaunt ownership of hybrid cars like Toyota’s modest Prius. But even better than a hybrid–which, after all, still gets all its energy from gasoline and therefore also emits carbon dioxide–would be an all-electric, zero-emissions car. Fortunately, for the pure-of-mind and very rich Hollywood god or goddess, just such cars are available–and some of them provide performance matching the best sports cars.

Take the Tesla Roadster. Created by a start-up, Tesla Motors, in Silicon Valley’s San Carlos, Calif., the Roadster is powered by lithium-ion batteries–6831 of them to be exact–and costs US $100 000. If you put down $75 000 and wait until the middle of next year for your car, you and Oscar winner George Clooney can have something in common. He bought one of the sold-out first 100 Signature series, sight unseen, as did actor Dennis Haysbert (perhaps best known for playing the president in Fox’s TV drama ”24”).

The Tesla was conceived by entrepreneur Martin Eberhard, who wanted a fast, environmentally friendly sports car but couldn’t find one. Convinced that advances in lithium-ion battery technology would permit such a car to be designed and built, he hired England’s Lotus, famous for its small, very light sports cars, to do the engineering. The whole Tesla car weighs just 1134 ­kilograms, including 408 kg of batteries. But when you floor the Tesla, the car slams you in the back–silently–because the 185â”kilowatt electric motor develops its maximum torque starting from zero revs. It’ll do zero to 100 kilometers an hour in 3.7 seconds. That’s fast…Ferrari fast.

Clooney already owns a Tango 600 electric car, a tandem two-seater only a meter wide, which was created by Commuter Cars, in Spokane, Wash., and built by England’s famed Prodrive racing shop. The Tango weighs 1388 kg and its two rear-wheel motors provide a combined torque of more than 1356 ­newtonâ”meters. The Tango can accelerate to 100 km/h from zero in 4 seconds. Clooney has boasted that he enjoys taking other drivers by surprise, zipping around them in his slender little car [see photo, ”Cool Cat”].

Photo: Steve Fecht/General Motors

Red Hot

Anthony Kiedis, lead singer of the rock group The Red Hot Chili Peppers, tried to steal the show when Chevrolet unveiled its Sequel, a concept car that runs on fuel cells.

While the Tango relies on 19 to 25 lead-acid batteries, the Tesla uses lithium-ion batteries, technically almost identical to those used in a cellphone or digital camera. They have roughly three times the charge capacity and weigh substantially less than lead-acid batteries of the same size. (Like the Tango, General Motors Corp.’s now-defunct EV1 electric two-seater ran on lead-acid batteries. For a range of 100 km, it took up to 12 hours to recharge.) With the same 400â”km range as a typical car, the Tesla can recharge in as little as 3.5 hours. It comes with recharging cables, too, by the way–just like a cellphone–which gives it another edge over hybrids.

Though Tesla Motors’ $60 million in venture funding puts it almost in a class by itself, it’s far from alone in the electric vehicle business. The global roster of new electric vehicle makers numbers more than two dozen. In fact, small companies specializing in EV engineering and conversion have plied their trade for years–they continued to do so even after big automakers like General Motors dropped out.

One thing about celebrity fashion is that it turns on the proverbial dime. While Clooney awaits his Tesla, what could be an even fairer siren beckons–the hydrogen fuel-cell vehicle. Only a few thousand exist globally, many of them transit buses. But when Chevrolet recently showed its Sequel fuel-cell concept car to the press, Anthony Kiedis–lead singer of The Red Hot Chili Peppers–wangled his way into the press preview and was widely photographed [see photo, ”Red Hot”]. Next year, Chevrolet plans to distribute 100 Equinox Fuel Cell SUVs to teachers, engineers, firefighters, government officials, business partners, and media in California, New York, and Washington, D.C. Who’s taking bets on whether some celebrity will get included in that group, too?”

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Will Ferrell’s Reason on Driving a Hybrid…

4 02 2010

I absolutely love our Prius. In addition to being obviously economical and environmentally friendly, they drive great and are just plain sexy. There’s no reason all Americans shouldn’t be driving hybrid cars.”
– Will Ferrell